Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize