he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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