yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
