Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Vodka?
Forever.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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