i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
