Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
