i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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