Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
