A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
