First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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