you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
