so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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