he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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