Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
