Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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