So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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