You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
