i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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