I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So many bounce houses so little time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
