Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize