oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
