During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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