oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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