Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
