we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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