We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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