Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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