I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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