How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
