Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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