i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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