Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
