She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
