Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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