you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize