My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
