well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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