Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
