my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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