You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
