oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
