Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
