I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
