i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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