When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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