I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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