they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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