high people should be assigned attendants
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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