He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
