in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she peed on how many people?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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