I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
