Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
