I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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