Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They took my balls.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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