Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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